Eating Disorders

Not only is anorexia potentially fatal to the sufferer, but it is an eating disorder debilitating to those surrounding them. Hobbies, friends and family become less and less a part of an anorectic's life, as thoughts become more centered around food. Here, we’d like to offer some advice to relatives and friends of anorexia sufferers about how to cope with their loved one’s eating disorder.

First, remember that it is exactly that: an eating disorder. This is not a diet - it’s a mental disorder, literally a change in the person’s mental processing. It’s almost considered to be a phobia of sorts; in fact, anorexia causes its victims to become terrified of food. It can be frustrating, as you may feel they’re behaving irrationally. This is true; keep in mind, though, it isn’t what anyone truly wants.

Second, be gentle about confronting them. Most anorectics will at first deny they even have an eating disorder. They can become extremely defensive and secretive about their eating habits. No matter how concerned you may get, don’t try to frighten your loved one into recovery by citing a list of things that will happen to them. Anorexia, along with other eating disorders, often stems from underlying issues. If you attempt to tell someone what will eventually happen to them, it makes them feel ashamed, adding even more to the emotional cycle of suffering. Deep down, they know the consequences of prolonged malnutrition and unhealthily low weight - using scare tactics serves only to insult their intelligence.

As previously stated, anorexia isn’t truly about weight or anything along those lines. This is an eating disorder about control. Often anorectics feel that they have no control over their lives, so instead turn to controlling eating. Low self-esteem and perfectionism are a few other underlying symptoms and personality traits. Try to boost your loved one’s self-esteem, but not by commenting on anything related to their weight or shape. Any "you’ve gotten so thin" comments, even if they're meant in concern, will be taken as a compliment, and the sufferer will be reinforced in his or her destructive habits in an effort to gain more approval. This also applies to recovery; don't say something like "you look much healthier", because it's highly possible that the individual is still likely to equate "healthy" to "fat".

And most importantly, don’t try to force recovery. Recovery from anorexia eating disorder has to be done at its own pace. Anorectics, when faced with too much food or too much of a change in diet or exercise routine, will likely feel overwhelmed with fear and slip back into their eating disorder. Let them dictate the pace of recovery. Do encourage recovery, even if it’s just maintaining a certain caloric intake and then increasing slightly next day.

Hopefully this advice will be of help, and, should this situation apply to anyone close to you, I wish you the best in playing your part to aid in recovery. With time, patience and commitment, anorexia can be overcome, but the going will be difficult for all involved.